Posted: May 27, 2010 in May
Tags: ,

I keep thinking about what I’d say if he showed up unexpectedly, the one that broke me…I have thought of things like he shows up to graduation or just randomly at my door. Things like what the hell are you doing here and who the hell do you think you are showing up here with no word for 5 months! I suppose I’m only having wishful thinking. I know he’d never show up at my door, unexpected or not. But what if he did? Would I be stupid enough to seriously take him back? Would I act or just stand there stupidly? I pray if that day ever comes it goes like this:

“What the hell are you doing here?!” (me screaming)

“I am back, and I thought I’d come see you.” (he’s smiling)

“Well you wasted a trip! I never want to see you again!”

“Please, don’t be that way. I need you…”

“Don’t even start that with me!” (cutting off his silver slippery words) “How dare you even think that I’d be happy to see you again! After all you’ve put me through!”

“I never meant to…”

“Meant to what? Hurt me? Never meant to be honest with me? When would you have told me you were leaving if I hadn’t broken the rules and tried to talk to you when the girlfriend I didn’t know you had was here for Christmas?!” (during Christmas he was celebrating by flying his girlfriend down from Maine. (I find this hilarious seeing how he’s Jewish…)I still feel really bad about that because I promised I wouldn’t text him if he didn’t text me first when she was here. I felt so bad. I was making him cheat. I seriously thought I about this too. I knew that if him and I were seriously together I wouldn’t want him doing this with another girl…But I was being selfish…)(I texted him and he was in the airport, getting ready to fly out to Maine…it was epic to say the least for me…)

And my thoughts for this encounter always go blank or something like his girlfriend, who is now his fiancée, cheated on him or got tired of his crap…I don’t know…

That line from Pirate of The Caribbean comes to mind…I think it’s World’s End…”Our destinies are intertwined but they never meet.”


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