Trust

Posted: August 7, 2010 in August
Tags: , , , , ,

I’ve mentioned before that I have issues with trusting people. Mostly guys. When a guy tells me to relax and trust him on something, I just won’t. I’ve learned from the past that everyone, not just guys, can let you down. Personally I’d rather just do something myself than have to rely on someone else.

Another part of trust is truth. I hate it when people lie to me, or try to use me to get something. Usually if you’re a close friend to me I won’t call you out on a lie and I usually won’t be too upset that you lied to me. But then you can never fully trust yourself.

I suppose that’s my problem. I have too much self doubt. If I read something and it does upset me, my emotions go kind of crazy. I’ll start doubting myself. Recently I read something a friend posted on Facebook. It was talking about how they were…I’ll say confused on what they wanted to do. I honestly don’t know why I still have this person on my Facebook friends list. We share an ex. And I suppose seeing how he broke up with me because he wasn’t over her really made me “emotional”. I saw how she hurt him and I started to really hate her. I’d see how she had commented on a post I’d written (I publish my posts from WordPress to Facebook.) My posts to my blog are fairly personally to me. I write about what I am feeling mostly. At the moment I was already “moody” with her. Her comments made it worse.

Now I read something rather old that she wrote. I just have to say hypocrite. For the past well 3 weeks or so she’s been trying to make me feel better about the break up. I am sorry but why would I take relationship advice from a girl who was with the same guy as me and cheated!? (Well I haven’t read the whole story but that’s what I am getting out of it.) If it were another friend of mine, maybe I’d listen, but I just won’t when it comes to this.

I still feel really bad for him. I just really hope he doesn’t do something stupid, like taking her back. I don’t think he would, but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t have much say on this seeing how I’ll be in college and they’re still in high school. (I hung out with the younger kids in my school…) I really wish I were still in high school.

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