Disappear

Posted: October 21, 2010 in October
Tags: , , , , ,

It’s rather cold today. I don’t know if it’s my mood that adds to it or if it’s just that cold, but it feels as if someone has injected pure ice into my veins and it won’t melt. It’s become clear to me. I am wasting my time. I am wasting my heart. Yes I wanted you for a time and perhaps I still do, but for now it seems as if you don’t even care. You seemed to have never cared. I’ve put my heart and soul into trying to make you see me, but in the end I am still invisible. Her light out shines me. So maybe for a couple of days, at least the weekend I’ll be silent. I am going home and perhaps that’s the best thing for me to do. Leave and be silent. Let what happens happen. It’s no longer up to you or me, it’s if God by some fate sees it fit for you and me to be a you and me…I’ll admit it as well, I still do want you. But I wish you would tell me if I am wasting my time. Not in a small let me down easy kind of way, use your blunt way. Tell me to my face that this isn’t and won’t happen. Let me fester and bleed in the pain. Just don’t try to catch me as a fall…

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