Wake Up

Posted: November 17, 2010 in November
Tags: ,

Interrogations

“You can end all of this if you’ll just tell us what you know,” the interrogator says as I try to catch my breath. I am strapped to a chair in a darkened room. They keep vitiating between trying to drown me and punch my body. They just kidney punched me and if feels like I can’t breathe right now. “Just tell us what you know and we’ll let you go,” the man smiles at me sweetly. But I know better. The blood and sweat in my eyes are blinding but I can see through his lies. I’ve been here for so long; I don’t even know how long it’s been. My clothes are ripped; my body is cold and bruised, but I haven’t said a word since I’ve gotten here.

“Alice, it’s important that you listen to me right now,” he whispered to me. “If they ask you promise me that you won’t tell them any of what you know. You can’t tell them how we met or anywhere we’ve been; nothing. I have to disappear. I wish I could take you with me, but you’re already in too deep. I won’t put you in danger anymore. Once you tell them you don’t know anything they should leave you alone,” he said kissing my forehead.

“Where is he?” the man yelled at me. I just stared at the table in front of me with the large basin of cold water, waiting for the ice to grip me. Trying to drown me in a puddle didn’t seem like a very terrible torture at first, but I couldn’t help but remember things when my head was underwater. As my head was slammed down into the freezing water I saw his eyes. I had to be careful not to inhale the water as I saw the blue-green of his eyes stare at me.

“Why can’t I come with you? If we’re together then it will be harder for them to hurt us,” I said trying to convince him we shouldn’t split up.

“You know we can’t do that,” he frowned. “I will be too worried about you getting hurt.”

“Then don’t focus on me. Just focus on the issue at hand,” I whispered.

“That’s impossible,” he whispered kissing me.

“Are you ready to tell me something useful?” The man asked as my head was pulled out of the water. I didn’t say anything as I looked up into his angry eyes. “Take her back to her cell!” he barks to a guard.

My name is Alice, prisoner number 92368 of Parker’s Institute for the Criminally Insane. I am here because the man I love knows a secret about our government. A huge secret that no one, including a highly decorated Marine is allowed to know. He disappeared and thought I’d be safe once he was gone, but he was wrong.

“I don’t know why you don’t just tell Dr. Parker what you know,” the guard says to me once we’re out of the solitary counseling area. The solitary counseling area is confined and very controlled. There are no cameras and since we’re all “criminals” the “counselors” are given the right to choose how we are to be counseled. “You aren’t going to talk to me either are you?” the guard asks me. He’s a new guard with the name of Johns.

I just shake my head slightly. I haven’t spoken a word to anyone since I was put here so long ago. I knew they could try to get some sort of information out of me if I started to talk. So I kept silent. It is just better this way.

“Must be awful lonely being the only one in your head,” he comments. I’ll admit its nice having a new face trying to figure you out. That’s all people do here, try to figure you out. There’s not much to figure out for me though. I just want him back. I miss him.

My cell is in solitary confinement, just in case I do speak up by accident. The government couldn’t find him so they turned to me. I did exactly what he told me to and played dumb, but they know if anyone knows where he is, it’d be me. Dr. Parker is actually a general who was over seeing something big. I don’t know exactly what. He thought if I didn’t know the whole secret I’d be safe. I wish he were right. I wish he were here.

Having me in solitary has made it easy for the government to be able to try to pump me for information. No one is allowed without security clearance, so the government can regulate who sees what’s being done. It’s horrible here. The food is terrible, but if you want to survive you eat what you can. It’s always cold and as far as I know I am not getting new clothing. The ugly grayish tunic I received when I was first put here is in rags and the simple slippers are barely existent. I don’t even have a bed. I sometimes wonder what they tell people so that they don’t get in trouble for the amount of neglect I am receiving, not to mention the abuse.

“Just remember I will come back some day,” he smiled. “As soon as I can I am coming for you,” he said, his hands cradling my face.

It’s the night shift now; I can hear the subtle clinks of keys as the guard walk by on their rounds. Every ten minutes they come back around. I don’t like to sleep anymore. It’s like being shoved down into the water, I remember things. The dreams just make my heart ache and I’d rather hurt from insomnia than memories. Maybe that’s why they can get away with keeping me here; every time I wake up I wake up screaming. It’s the only form of speech I’ve allotted since I’ve been here. I try so hard to wake up my brain enough to clamp my mouth shut so I don’t scream, but I can’t help it sometimes. The tears burn so much on the new wounds too.

Day 164

It must be December, it’s day 164. I’ve been here since July; I haven’t seen him since July. It just feels like a giant hole is being ripped through me, and I am disappearing inside of it. Sometimes it all feels like it couldn’t possibly be real. Maybe it’s just Dr. Parker’s “counseling” finally kicking in…Parker tries to tell me that it was all lies and nothing that he told me was true. Everything was fake and he didn’t really love me and he just needed someone to take the fall for what he did. I’ll admit I sometimes wonder if the life I remember is just a dream. That…he isn’t coming back. That he isn’t real. I almost don’t even remember is name, but the flashes of memory are proving me wrong.

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