Hurting

Posted: December 2, 2010 in December
Tags: , , , , ,

Yesterday was odd. For about a week or so I’ve been in a funky mood and I just can’t shake it. I keep thinking about my ex and I honestly feel bad for him and I think it’s on to the point where I actually feel little bits of pain. Like stress pain I suppose. But yesterday was odd, just because I talked to two friends from high school. But they’re not just two old friend from high school, their also two of his other ex’s. One is the one before me and the other is the one after me.

The conversations were slightly odd. All about him and thinks surrounding that. The ex before me surprises me. She said she thinks he and I are right for each other and should be together. I…I don’t know what to think. First off I guess the most apparent thought in my mind is “Yes! Please let him see this too!” But then my reasoning kicks in. Why did she say that?

To understand why I am questioning this you have to understand the ex before me. She was with him for a year and a half or maybe even close to two years, but then she just broke it off. Before they were even close to breaking up I could tell she felt threatened by me, well before we were friends anyway. All three of us became pretty good friends. I don’t like her much. I’ll admit it. After how she’s used him and dragged him around making him think he can get her back makes me want to sterilize her. She slept around on him and yet he loved her. But I shouldn’t be surprised he loved her. He told me when we were together that he didn’t want to say “love” for sometime and I think I didn’t mind it because I knew we wouldn’t last long. But I didn’t know that after two weeks I wouldn’t want to break up and I’d miss him dearly at college…Ah icy cold shivers. Always when I think of you…

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