Theory…

Posted: December 9, 2010 in December
Tags: ,

Ok, this is just me trying to sort through my thoughts. So it might get interesting…

Ok…I still have the dreams. I’ve always had them. We’re talking again and he’s slightly flirty. He didn’t say we’re just friends, he said we are friends. He feels bad that I still like him. He keeps asking about the dreams though. He sounds interested and then he tries to pull back. It’s like he’s not sure if he wants to get back into a relationship. I still really like him. He’s not depressed anymore. He said he hopes no one gets close anymore because it always ends bad. What if I am willing to let it end bad? Well that’s just selfish of me.  What if the way it ends is a way that we can’t recover? But what if it doesn’t end badly? What if we can make it work and it’s the best thing we ever do? I really should stop with the what if scenarios. But there’s one more. What if this weekend isn’t what I hope it is? I could see him his weekend and nothing could change. I could still be pining after him, but he could still be as unsure as he is now… 

Being friends again should be enough for me, but it’s not. I am such a selfish beast…

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