Pride and Prejudice

Posted: December 28, 2010 in December
Tags: , , ,

12-25-2010

Why am I so swayed by this movie now? I can feel the despair enveloping me so completely. Perhaps I just know the feeling of rejections or loneliness or I don’t even know. But what are our faults? I know this one though. Lust and Loneliness. Why can’t I get over you? Yes, you were my official first, but why do I feel so…why do I have such strong feelings for you? I don’t only miss him I worry, I feel sorrow when I know he’s hurting, I feel pride for him when I know he’s done something he is particularly happy about. A new thought, who was lust and who was lonely? I think at the beginning you were lust and I was lonely. Or perhaps we were both a bit of each. I am still lonely but I am also full of lust for you. If only I could find someone whom I thought was equally genuine as you.

Or perhaps the paper boy is right, I’ve never had positive male attention. No I have. Only from him. I knew it was only for a short time and it never would have lasted very long, in face I am amazed it lasted two weeks. Sure I hoped for a while longer but I am amazed. But why can’t I get over something I knew wouldn’t last very long? Perhaps I just got more than I could ever have imagined from him…

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