When Did I Change So Much?

Posted: January 19, 2011 in January
Tags: ,

I feel like a bitch. The truth is I’ve gotten pretty good at being one. I don’t understand it. I am not jealous. I just hate what she’s become. I keep finding myself wondering when is she going to grow up. I use to enjoy being around her and people like her, but now…I just don’t even want to be in the same room. I feel bad because of how I am now, but honestly what did she expect to happen when she knows I hate the guy she’s dating so much. And now I have to see him every waking second of my life.

I just don’t care about anything anymore. I think that’s what scares me the most at the moment. I can’t care anymore, I know I should but I just don’t. I don’t care what other people that walk past me think of how I look, I don’t even care about finding a stupid guy anymore. I don’t even want to look anymore. I know where a good man is, I just can’t have him.

I don’t care even if I make her feel bad anymore. She doesn’t want to let anyone down, but she doesn’t realize she let me down already. I wish she’d just get it over with and let me die rather than drag my dying body behind her.

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