Chilling

Posted: January 21, 2011 in December
Tags: , , ,

I didn’t get much sleep last night. One of the down falls of living in a dorm is being at the mercy of everyone around you and whatever they could possibly be doing. Last night it was music and a party. midnight to three a.m. I don’t know if it’s just my being tired but today is just one of those days that you just don’t really care. My brother surprised me with a message on Facebook, which was rather odd seeing how he’s on a mission for our church and isn’t suppose to be allowed on internet sites. Anyway the whole point of his message was how I am messing up apparently and does our father know and am I even going to church. I really thought I’d have more freedom in college.

I am finding more and more that there is nowhere that I am truly free to do as I will. No matter what I do someone is always watching or reading or I don’t even know. I am feeling more and more that Facebook is something evil and should be treated like a spy…

And the pounding music starts again. I feel so ice cold right now. I miss having someone that truly understood me. Someone that was sad when I was sad and happy when I was happy. I miss having someone texting me until I fall asleep and making me feel bad for falling asleep. I miss feeling beautiful and sexy even when I am filthy and a total mess. I miss having someone that made it seem like there was nothing that could go wrong…Like no matter how terrible things got it would all pass and it’d be okay…

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