Dear Pandora

Posted: March 29, 2011 in March
Tags: , , , , , ,

Why’d you have to make me so freaking shy?!?! Well shy around cute guys. Honestly I think I’d be so much better off if I didn’t just freeze around cute guys. I saw him tonight. It was just him and I on the sidewalk. No one around for some reason. I could have said hi at least. But no. My mind freezes and I look at my feet.

I am kicking myself for not saying something anything. I could have at least looked up and smiled at him. But no. It’s much too late to wish I did something. Too little and too late.

So here I sit alone. It’s quiet except for my music, but even it’s not very loud. The aroma of my cocoa crème tea feeling the air. I love it. Well all except for the alone part.

Why do I feel so…small in this world now? Without my friends here I just feel small and quiet. Like the smallest insect imaginable.

I miss him again. The last man to make me feel something that was real. Sure it’s been so long since then, but it was the only real thing in so long if ever. Why can’t I just except that it was a summer fling and nothing meant to be lasting? I almost wish I could just forget, but then would I lose the only real memory of love and longing I have?

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