Archive for the ‘April’ Category


I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved
You’ll be loved you’ll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You may feel alone when you’re falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you’ve yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
You’ll be loved you’ll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You’ll be loved you’ll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved.

 

Fight Club, Cookies and Guys

Posted: April 29, 2011 in April
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Well I think it’s rather ironic this mess I find myself in is. I spend my weekend baking and being so excited about coming back to college and I come back and it goes all wrong.

The guy I baked the cookies for rejects me and pretty much tells me I am too white and stupid and not pretty enough for him. So here I sit in the dark, alone eating the cookies I baked for him. “I am Jack’s wasted life.” That should have been the first clue. He didn’t like Fight Club. That was the first clue. If you’re going to be my man you have to like Fight Club at least.

Beauty

Posted: April 29, 2011 in April
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I’ve created something that I think is just so beautiful right now. I did a little experimenting and merged two of my favorite pictures. They’re my favorites because of the colors and forms and now I have something that is purely mine and beautiful.

angel-wings-tattoos This is one of the pictures. I love this tattoo and want to get it some day.

smashed chest I love the real and imaginative features of this one.

smashed angel wings This is my creation. I love it.


When I was young I would sit and watch the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast all the time. I loved it. I think it solves a lot of my relationship problems today. I always go after the guys that are a form of beast; emotionally crippled, bad boys, guys that are going through a tough time and I try to find the good in them. Unfortunately there never really is much good in them. I realize too late that they’re all not good people deep down like Disney said they would be. I am looking for that hero in disguise, but he’s not coming…

So thank you Disney for teaching me when I was young that love conquers all and that there is a hero in disguise among us all and that I can help to fix him and that everything will be fine after that. In the real world you have to work hard for everything, love fades, people only care about themselves usually, something’s just are meant to be fixed and everything isn’t just great after words.

I should be more like Meg from Hercules. At least she knew the truth. And knew the pain.

Photography Adventure

Posted: April 28, 2011 in April
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HPIM2041HPIM2042

HPIM2043HPIM2044

HPIM2045HPIM2046

HPIM2047HPIM2048HPIM2049

HPIM2050

Independent

Posted: April 28, 2011 in April
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I am almost there. I am almost done with being told what to do and how to do things. I am almost living on my own. I am almost truly free.

I’ve realized something in the past 24 hours or so. I can do just fine on my own. Yes I’ve been rejected yet again, but even that blow doesn’t hurt much anymore. I’ve thought about becoming bi sexual, but honestly that just makes me chuckle. If it comes down to it if there is even a hint of a guy being interested in me I would pick a guy over a girl. But honestly I think just being me for a while sounds great. Yes I want to be with someone again, but I am free to do anything I want when I want.

The only reason I went after this last guy is all over prophecy really. He was Mormon, and seemed like a great guy. I could see myself having kids and all that good Mormon stuff with him. But after that I really don’t even know. I admit I chose him because I knew my family and religion would like him. But he’s not a guy that is for me. I need those guys that are out of the box and different. So screw trying to think ahead for when I get married. I have a new rule, well two new rules; No Mormon boys and no blondes. Who knows maybe I’ll find that guy someday that is just right… 

Losing Faith

Posted: April 27, 2011 in April
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I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore. Do people really think that others are so stupid? Do you really think that these stupid little games will work? They won’t. Believe me.

I’ve been beaten down again today. I am starting to miss my ex again. Starting to miss those times that I actually felt pretty. Missing those times when I knew what I could do to a guy. Now I am just another person walking in and out of reality…You just make me so bipolar…