Archive for the ‘October’ Category


Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
the night is my companion, and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?
and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
and after, I’d wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Through this world I’ve stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
and after, I’d wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Into this night I wander
it’s morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here
and I won’t be denied
and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
and after, I’d wipe away the tears
just close your eyes…

A Dose of Honesty

Posted: October 29, 2010 in October
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The truth is I don’t understand. How can you say you’re confused when this has been your game from the beginning? How dare you call me stupid and mature when you’re the one that’s been blind the whole time. But I suppose now it doesn’t even matter. I wish you could just see for once what’s really happening. You always bragged about how you’re so amazing and know so much, but you can’t read me for shit. Or maybe you’re the selfish one. So selfish that you can’t see what you’re doing to both of us. But I don’t want to talk about this or even you anymore. I just feel really stupid for “falling” as you put it. I don’t see how that happened. I guess I am just really bored. I miss what I can’t have and I thought you were close to what I had. I just want him back. But we all know that’s not going to happen. It’s too hard trying to find a way now. I just want to be pulled back and not look at this any longer. I don’t want to focus and I don’t want to see. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t even want to see. I just want to feel the adrenaline in my veins and do something extremely stupid just to feel the pain.

What’s The Point?

Posted: October 29, 2010 in October
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Why do I write when I know that it will just be used against me later? It can only make things worse, so why do I do it? You never did understand me and I doubt you ever will, but I do it so I can feel. I really don’t care what people think of it or how they take it. I write so I can get emotions out, or so I can make some snappy little line of sarcasm. But honestly I don’t see the point in me trying to feel something now when it’s all too little and too late. Sure keep coming around, but I hope you know if I could I’d push you over the railing this time instead of trying to keep you from jumping. You made me want to jump, why not just give you a nice little push? I don’t because I know she’d hate me and probably never forgive me for it. You’re extremely lucky that I favor her above you so highly.


Every person has a memory. Usually it’s something associated with that person. Right now, for you, it’s tastes and smells. Slim Jims, Monster Coffee Russian style, Cherry Amp, and Axe Twist. And my lip gloss. Yeah, I really miss you right now…

Wake Up

Posted: October 28, 2010 in October
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I am trying to write Waking Up again, however I am not calling it that anymore. I haven’t thought of a name yet, but the muse caught me today. Maybe something good will come.

I Lied

Posted: October 28, 2010 in October
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You really weren’t what I wanted. You were just that nice memory of what I had before at first. And yes, I thought that maybe someone like you is best for me, but now…Ha! You’re oh so vain and proud that I don’t see how or why I ever put up with it. I feel extremely stupid for thinking you were a good guy and that you were amazing. I was wrong and I lied. You’re not what I want. I want the one before you, the one that actually cared about me.

Well…

Posted: October 27, 2010 in October
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Let see what’s changed in the past few days for me? I found out I’ve been right this whole time and I’ve been wasting my time trying to get a guy to like me that will never see me that way, I went home, watched a football game, didn’t sleep because of nightmares, still can’t sleep because of the dreams, miss a certain person that I really shouldn’t moved my dorm’s furniture around, pretended to sleep, went to class, and watched Invader Zim. Now I want to desperately drive south until I see a certain familiar face, relive that day from the past, be so happy I could just cry, not want to come to college again, cry because I have to come back, and pick up where we left off. Wow these are really bad run on sentences. I just can’t win can I?