Posts Tagged ‘Roommate’

I Have No Life

Posted: May 27, 2011 in May
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Well this isn’t exactly what I would consider a bad thing. I mean sure my day consists of doing really nothing, my accomplishment usually is getting dressed and then progresses into seeing how long I stay that way. It’s been only my cousin and I for almost two days. We both don’t talk much so it’s been rather quiet. I do enjoy the time to myself, but at times like this I am so bored out of my mind that I just want to go back to sleep. I’ve been living on instant oatmeal, popcorn, ramen and mountain dew for so long I am amazed I even wake up anymore.

I am doing chores for my aunt and uncle at the moment. They have two beautiful Dalmatians. I’ll admit I can’t remember the male’s name, Cota or something like that, but the female Abby is so cute. I pet her and it amazes me how soft her fur is. The male, I’ve been calling him Buddy since I can’t remember his name, is cautious of me, but he too is very cute. His fur isn’t as soft as Abby’s but it’s very close. Abby is an escape artist so I have to watch her closely. And then there are the chickens. I don’t like chickens. It’s not that I am scared of them, I just don’t like them. Maybe it’s the nonstop crowing they do. It will be 2 a.m. and you can hear them crowing. I hate chickens.

It sometimes amazes me how little me and my cousin speak. I think it’s because before I moved here I met him maybe once. He’s my aunt’s son from a former marriage so I am still getting to know her and him. I know her better just because I actually see her from time to time. My cousin works the night shift, so when he’s not working he’s sleeping. I thought before my aunt and uncle left I had made some leeway with my cousin. We seemed to be getting along good. We talked occasionally even. But now no one needs to worry about a party. We’re both much to quiet for that. But my roommate gets back sometime tomorrow so that could change. To be honest I am enjoying having the room to myself. It’s quiet, dark and I can do whatever I like and dress however I like. Sometimes walking around in practically nothing isn’t acceptable, but when one is alone does it really matter?



Posted: May 10, 2011 in May
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I am getting nervous about moving out. I am not nervous about where I am living or who is my landlord. All of those are easy. I am living on my uncle’s property and he’s my landlord. What worries me is my roommate. One of my roommates from the dorms is going to live there with me, but I am wondering how this is going to work out. She’s very much independent and I am still getting used to the idea. I know my uncle won’t push us around and stuff, but she gets…odd about things when I ask if it’s ok if someone spends the night or sits in on dinner. To me that’s just being considerate of others. If my uncle isn’t comfortable with someone staying or being there then they won’t be there.

I am also worried about the close quarters and how I am going to be treated. My roommate is gay and she’s already talked about having sex there with her girlfriend. I told her I didn’t want them doing that there. Most of that decision is for my sake but then there’s the thoughts of how my family would feel about that. I love my roommate like a sister, but if I am not going to be treated fairly or my opinion isn’t going to be heard I might as well have gone home to my father.

My roommate is assertive in ways I am not. But sometimes she asserts all over me. “When are you going to be independent? When are you going to stop letting your father rule you?” You have to understand my situation. It’s not an easy one…I know we both have had hard lives before college, but she can’t just assume she had it worse and she knows how everything should be handled. I don’t like just jumping into a “solution” for a problem. I have to think about how it’s going to effect me and others…

I am starting to wonder if I can really continue living with my roommate. I used to not notice things about her that just annoy me. But now there are times I just can’t stand to be around her.

I wouldn’t care if she opened the windows in our dorm if she would be the one to close them. She’s never home anymore so I am the one home when it does actually get kind of cold or noisy outside. I wouldn’t even care if she was never home because she was with her guy friend, who we aren’t allowed to call her boyfriend, if she wouldn’t bring him here. I wouldn’t even care about how she can’t seem to just shut up, but then again there isn’t really anything I can do about that one.

I don’t even like coming home anymore because I know I have to see her. I actually want to move. I almost can’t even stand it anymore…

I sacrifice so much of my life just to put up with her shit. I give up good internet to have privacy from the two of them. I give up my privacy because he’s always here! I don’t know why that one little statement bothered me so much but it did. Maybe it’s because she’s showing how much she honestly doesn’t care about us anymore. “Shyanne’s allowed to have whoever she wants over.” Yes, she even said it in the third person.

I probably wouldn’t be so bothered by this if she would just accept that they are dating. If they are going to act like they are they might as well claim it!

She’s such a nice girl…

Posted: April 6, 2011 in April
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She’s such a nice girl that she can’t say no to him, but she can somehow be a bitch to me…When will you just stop with the show and finally let the real you out? I can hear it at night when you grind your teeth. It’s just begging to be let out of it’s cage. Maybe then I’d have some respect for you again. Maybe then you’d actually know what life was about…

You Never Did Listen…

Posted: March 29, 2011 in March
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I told you once I’d rather shoot him than let him back into this dorm. I guess you didn’t take me seriously. I won’t shoot him. I don’t have a gun.

I just wish you would think ahead and realize what will happen. You must want to learn on your own, but you’ve gone through this before. You know how it will end and so do I. I didn’t feel sorry for you before, I won’t this time either.

Lights Out

Posted: November 22, 2010 in November
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I just don’t know what to say anymore. We have two very different styles of handling our problems. You’re quiet and don’t want to hurt him, but me…Maybe it’s because he’s hurt me so much by now. I am just ready to cause pain. And maybe I am just all too willing. I didn’t care for a long time, but now that you don’t know how to make this stop…I can’t help but want to do something…I am ready to just embrace the darkness and cold. There are two course I could take and a few options for both these choices. One, I could go violent and hurt him and try to make him as much as I have. Two, I could go silently. I think going silent might work the best…I know it will hurt, but it will also hurt her. I hope this was worth making us both have problems with you. I honestly wish I’d never really met you…