Ice

I just don’t even know what to say or think or imagine or anything anymore. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t think telling him that I would honestly come home every weekend and any day I possibly could just to see him would be very helpful. I don’t think that’s what he wants or needs. Sure maybe I don’t mind if I get hurt again, but he doesn’t need that right now. I may miss him like crazy and want to see him so bad that I dream about it every night, but he doesn’t need me doing that kind of thing right now…

Painful Resistance

I can’t help but just hurt. Hurt for you. I think it’s because I understand your pain. But only because I’ve felt it for you. If I were able to be there I would never let you go. I wouldn’t even care anymore that it’s not really me that you miss or want anymore. I’d just want to make you feel better…But I know I’d want more after I just saw you. That’s what happened last time…But I miss last time…No wonder I felt off today, my heart bleeds with yours…too bad yours doesn’t bleed for me…

Oh the Powers of the Grape Vine!

Honestly I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. The thought of him what so ever just makes me sick. (Ex boyfriend and was a complete douche bag…) And now you’re dating him. Ew…

Dreaming

I am amazed. I found out this weekend that I talk in my sleep. I also found out that even though I am trying to move on subconsciously I still really miss you. Too bad everything had to be like a dream that day. It just makes it feel like it didn’t really happen…

Boring by Pink

Uh that’s hot
Iiiiiit’s tasty
It’s like a cupcake
It’s cotton candy
It melts in your mouth
And lately
I been gettin hunger pains
When you lick your lips while you check me out
Fast car
Boring
Girlfriend
Boring
Got money
Boring
No-oh-oh-oh
Hot friends
Boring
Rock band
Boring
Not interested
No Tha-ank you
If you want me
You’re gonna have to catch me
If you wanna touch my whoa-oa-oa
And if you catch me
You’re gonna have to show me
How bad you really want my whoa-oa-oa
Yooooooou’re Scrumptious
I kinda like it
I’m indecisive
I change my mind a lot
But you’re hot (you’re so hot)
But I think you kinda know it
Really hopin you don’t blow it so bring it
You’re tired
Boring
You’re sore
Boring
You worked all day
Boring
Whoa-oa-oa-oa
Big boat
Boring
Black AmEx
Listening
Six pack
well, heh
If you want me
You’re gonna have to catch me
If you wanna touch my whoa-oa-oa
And if you catch me
You’re gonna have to show me
How bad you really want my whoa-oa-oa
Whoa-oa-oa-oa
If I let you catch me
It’s because I think you’re really cute
And if you don’t get it right
I’mma be like really really mad
uh, insert rap here
12345678 Go
Go
That’s hot
Whoa-oa-oa-oa
If you want me, you catch me, yeah whoa-oa-oa-oa
If you catch me, you show me, yeah whoa-oa-oa-oa
If you want me
You’re gonna have to catch me
If you wanna touch my whoa-oa-oa
And if you catch me
You’re gonna have to show me
How bad you really want my whoa-oa-oa
Fast car
Boring
Girlfriend
Boring
Got money
Boring
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
Hot friends
Boring
Rock band
Boring
Not interested
Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

Nightmares

I couldn’t sleep very well last night. I kept having these really weird dreams and nightmares…Flashbacks and memories and I guess fears. I dreamed I was in the hospital and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I was dying. I called my ex so I could try and see him one last time before I died, but he wouldn’t come…I kept having this dream all night and it would change to where he wouldn’t even answer my call and how he wouldn’t come and say he didn’t want to see me. Sadly I think the dreams of him not even answering my calls were the worst. At least in the dreams where he told me off his voice wasn’t right, so I guess it’s like my brain knows it didn’t really happen. I am so tired today though…I still just hurt from those dreams too. I could see his face so clearly…

No Handlebars by The Flobots

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it’s good to be
ALIVE
and I’m a famous rapper
even when the paths’re all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I’m Proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:
I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome
I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone
Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it’s good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule
Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won’t stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let’em all die in exasperation
Have’em all healed of their lacerations
Have’em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don’t like’em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars.

Something I’ve Learned In College

Of course every guy I show some interest in isn’t going to be into me. He’s actually going to be into one of my 12 roommates, or as I like to call them pod mates. So to any guy any where do not start flirting with a girl because you’re really into her roommate. Flirt with the roommate! And if you can’t resist flirting with the wrong roommate, please do not send her one of the following texts…

1. I hope we can still be friends…

2. I am really into this roommate

3. Is she single?

4. You should let me in to see this roommate.

5. What’s the name of the girl you’re always with? You’re roommate?

All of these will get you no where in my book. And yes, all of these lines have been used in attempts of trying to get me to help some perv to get at one of my roommates….

Lights Out

I just don’t know what to say anymore. We have two very different styles of handling our problems. You’re quiet and don’t want to hurt him, but me…Maybe it’s because he’s hurt me so much by now. I am just ready to cause pain. And maybe I am just all too willing. I didn’t care for a long time, but now that you don’t know how to make this stop…I can’t help but want to do something…I am ready to just embrace the darkness and cold. There are two course I could take and a few options for both these choices. One, I could go violent and hurt him and try to make him as much as I have. Two, I could go silently. I think going silent might work the best…I know it will hurt, but it will also hurt her. I hope this was worth making us both have problems with you. I honestly wish I’d never really met you…

Begging You

I just can’t roll over and try to forget you this time…it hurts too much. So here I lay, hiding my pain and tears under my blanket, just missing you. I wish you’d just talk to me. I’d settle for friendship, I really would. Just having you back in my life would satisfy me. I miss talking to you, I miss knowing it didn’t matter if anyone understood, all because I had you. I miss falling asleep when you’re texting me and feeling terrible for it. I miss getting goose bumps and the shivers from just seeing you. I miss feeling my heart skip a beat or two before you kissed me and then feeling it spring back to life in your arms. I miss it all, but I just want you back. Even if it’s just as friends. I wish I could just talk to you and understand what you’re feeling and thinking…